🚨 MEDICAL PARODY: This is a fake rehab center making fun of assumption addiction. The real "treatment" is just asking customers! 🚨
Break free from the cycle of chronic assumption-making. Our evidence-based treatment program helps founders recover their ability to actually ask customers what they want.
Success Rate
Crisis Support
Years Experience
Founders Recovered
🚨 Intervention Needed If You:
Evidence-based treatment for assumption addiction
We admitted we were powerless over our assumptions—that our business decisions had become unmanageable.
Came to believe that customer feedback could restore us to sanity.
Made a decision to turn our business decisions over to the care of customer data as we understood it.
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of all our wrong assumptions.
Admitted to customers, to ourselves, and to our team the exact nature of our wrong assumptions.
Were entirely ready for customers to remove all these defects of character.
Humbly asked customers to remove our shortcomings through honest feedback.
Made a list of all users we had harmed with bad assumptions, and became willing to make amends to them all.
Made direct amends to users wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Continued to take personal inventory, and when we made assumptions, promptly admitted it.
Sought through surveys and interviews to improve our conscious contact with customers.
Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to other assumption addicts.
Recovery Milestone:
"Hi, my name is [Name], and I haven't made an assumption about my customers in [X] days."
Licensed professionals specializing in assumption addiction treatment
Chief Medical Officer & Addiction Specialist
Dr. Driven has 20 years of experience treating severe assumption addiction. She pioneered the Customer Truth Therapy method.
"Recovery begins with accepting that you don't know what your customers want."
Specializations:
MD, PhD in Customer Psychology, Certified Assumption Addiction Counselor
Head of Group Therapy
Specializes in group therapy for founders struggling with chronic assumption-making behaviors.
"In group therapy, we learn that assumption addiction affects us all."
Specializations:
PhD in Behavioral Analytics, Licensed Customer Feedback Therapist
Patient Intake Coordinator
First point of contact for assumption addicts seeking help. Expert in identifying chronic assumption patterns.
"No assumption is too big or too small for recovery."
Specializations:
RN, Certified Assumption Assessment Specialist
Customized recovery plans for every level of assumption addiction
8 weeks • 3 sessions per week, 2 hours each
For founders with mild to moderate assumption addiction who can maintain their startup while in treatment.
73% assumption-free at 6 months
Real program: Structured customer research training with weekly surveys and feedback analysis
30 days • 24/7 medical supervision
Residential program for severe assumption addicts who need 24/7 supervised recovery in a controlled environment.
89% assumption-free at 1 year
Real program: Intensive customer research bootcamp with daily user interviews and data analysis
5 days • Intensive 5-day retreat
Luxury intervention program for C-level executives with severe assumption addiction affecting their entire organization.
94% executive assumption recovery
Real program: Executive customer research workshop with board-level customer strategy planning
Real founders who overcame their assumption addiction
CEO, TechFlow Solutions
847 Days Clean
Intensive Assumption Detox
"I was making 50+ assumptions per day. I built 12 features nobody wanted. My team was enabling my addiction."
"I haven't made an assumption in over 2 years. Every decision is backed by customer data. My company is thriving."
Founder, InnovateNow
1205 Days Clean
Outpatient Assumption Recovery
"I thought I knew my customers better than they knew themselves. My assumption addiction destroyed my first startup."
"Today I celebrate 3+ years assumption-free. I survey customers weekly and make data-driven decisions only."
CTO, GrowthCorp
523 Days Clean
Executive Assumption Intervention
"My assumption addiction was affecting my entire engineering team. We built a product nobody wanted."
"Recovery taught me that customer feedback is the foundation of good engineering. We now ship what users need."
Join fellow recovering assumption addicts in supportive group sessions
Assumption Anonymous (AA)
General support for all addiction levels
Mon, Wed, Fri
7:00 PM
Feature Builders Anonymous
For founders who built unwanted features
Tuesday
6:30 PM
Customer Avoiders Support
For those who fear customer feedback
Thursday
7:30 PM
Executive Recovery Circle
C-level assumption addiction support
Saturday
10:00 AM
Help your team understand your assumption addiction
Sundays, 2:00 PM
Learn to identify assumption triggers
Monthly, Last Friday 6:00 PM
Get paired with a recovered founder
Ongoing program